I am looking for some ideas on how to bring sex back to my marriage..........someone help me please.......

My wife just doesn't seem to be interested anymore......Maybe it's the kids, maybe it's stress.

I've tried talking to her about it but nothing seems to work.

We tried setting aside 1 night each week as a special night but even that's fallen by the wayside.

I've tried massage and she complains about being ticklish. I'd even be quite happy to have just 1 night of only pleasuring her in what ever way she wants, but I don't have the opportunity.

When we do have sex she seems to enjoy it......She orgasms most times.....

I've tried asking her about fantasies....she clams up. I want to talk about my ideas and fantasies too, but without even straight sex.......I've got nowhere to go.

I'm soooooooooo frustrated. Any ideas will be appreciated.

((hugs)) first off! But I was where your wife is some time ago, I think. Stress and lack of energy made even having sex too much effort. It does not mean she does not want you. It simply means she is exhausted, probably has spread herself too thin and feels like she does, does, does, for others all day then just wants to go fetal when she has down time. How old is she if I may ask?

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

thanks for the hug Lilith.....We're both early 30's. 2 Young kids...2yrs 7 months and 16 mnths. I work full time and she part time (3 days).

We both get really tired and have the stresses of life.....and from my side this is just one more thing to get stressed about.

Thank God I have 2 hands! I'd explode otherwise!*wink*

I think it's time for a long weekend away....just the two of you.....or even just send the kids away and stay home if there is a money issue...

But going away..no kids..being in a hotel/motel really does wonders for you...and her. Get a nice bottle of wine...and just talk all night...and talk about the good old days...it's amazing how the feelings pour out of you.....when you aren't at home...

We seem to all go through this kinda phase at some point in out life...but it does get better, with love, understanding and communication......and time away!!!!!!!

__________________
_______________________
*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Sound good Lovediva. Maybe we could do that next year when we can con relo's into babysitting. (closest relo now is 10hr drive)

We sometimes manage a movie together (2-3 times a year).....Maybe next time we should try a porno and make out in the theatre!*lol*

denandbil~ Good news she is gonna hit her sexual prime and crawl you like a cat crawls curatins. You'll not be able to beat her off with a stick, nor will you have time to beat your own stick

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

__________________

Well let's hope you can get away before next year!!!!


Oh and Sharnie what you said is ohhhh soooo true!!!!!!

__________________
_______________________
*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Looking forward to that time Lilith........*weg*

-Sharniqua.....I believe I understand....This has been going on for a loooooong time. I don't think that I demand anything (maybe that's my problem!).

But when I try to talk about it (I always try to pick a good time) she doesn't want to. That's what makes it sooooo frustrating. If she could share with me what she is going through or even give me some clue as to why.......

Am I asking too much?

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Listen to Sharni...she is right. Instead of spending time trying to get her to be with you, give her time to be her. More time for her to remember who she is will transpose into her having the energy and inclination to remember who she is to you

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Thanks Lilith and Sharniqua.

I have offered before and she hasn't taken the opportunity but I have now formulated a plan......*WEG*

Her next present........A day at a spa........Massage....steams......saunas and whatever else they do there.......

I'll buy her a gift voucher and drop her off one day on some pretext or other......

Good idea?

It seems like I'm always harping on housework but seriously, men who don't do housework are a turn off for me.

She's probably exhausted. You sound like you're trying your best. I'm not sure why she doesn't want to talk about it, though. Give her an evening for just her - cook, clean, draw a bath. Maybe you could open the lines of communication as you wash her hair while the dinner's in the oven?

Thanks for the thought Steph.......I guess I have been shirking on cooking recently......Used to be about 50/50. Now about 80/20.

She never has to wash dishes and I never have to vacuum. Laundry is still 50/50.

denandbil.....

Have you considered that this COULD BE a physical issue. Yes, stress and exhaustion often play a role, but sometimes it often involves hormonal issues or depression. There is a chance that this is something that meds might be able to help with... try to approach this topic with your wife... gently... (don't let her thing you think she is crazy or mental).

Good luck.. hugs