12-23-2004, 06:19 AM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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Xmas Funnies
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Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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12-23-2004, 06:22 AM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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12-23-2004, 06:26 AM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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12-23-2004, 06:56 AM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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SANTA AND THE ANGEL
Not long ago and not far away Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere.
Four of the elves got sick, and the trainee elves didn't produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her mom was coming to visit and that stressed him even more ... and then when he went to harness the reindeer he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out heaven knows where ... more stress.
Then, as he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards on the sleigh cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered all the toys.
So our frustrated Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey onlt to find that the elves had hit the liquor cupboard and there was nothing left to drink ... and in his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
To top it all off ... when he went to get the broom he discovered that the mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed as he went to open the door. When he opened the door he found a little angel with a great big Christmas tree and the angel asked Santa where he'd you like the Christmas tree put.
And that, my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.
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Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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12-23-2004, 07:04 AM
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~figment of imagination~
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: hot sticky wet south
Posts: 2,310
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I just loved the songs ..... LOL and the snowman with momma's nose
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12-23-2004, 12:12 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 541,353
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Christmas is more fun for some.
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Eudaimonia
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12-23-2004, 12:33 PM
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Nurse Ratchet Graduate
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Thousand Oaks, Ca.
Posts: 2,941
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ROTFLMAO... too funny! *dances around singing at top of lungs* "who put the dick on the snowman...."
Thanks Sharni and jseal, for starting my stressful day with a huge laugh!
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Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
~George Burns~
As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~
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12-23-2004, 03:28 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: okla.
Posts: 9,323
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roflmao
thanks sharni ,jseal
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The mind never forgets what the hands have learned
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12-24-2004, 04:53 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,686
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Aussie tropical Xmas
Here's our local cartonist's take on Xmas '04.
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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
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12-25-2004, 03:57 AM
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Just me.
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
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Sharni, jseal and OF ... thank you. Terrific way to start the morning!
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