Last night my "ex"wife called me. I call her that because in 3 years, neither one of us has had the money for a divorce so we're still technically married. In 3 years we've MAYBE had half a dozen conversations, all of them started by me. Now she calls out of the blue just to let me know that she's back in town. I THINK she also said that she was now single. Since then I've been able to only think of the "what ifs" that have been going through my mind.
Now let me be VERY clear, I'm in love with someone else and hadn't even thought of her for a very long time. The thing of it is, I've never lived with that someone and I have a lot of very bad/annoying traits that she doesn't know about. But my ex wife knows all of those things and was willing to put up with it. I was just scared of being locked into a marriage that I didn't really want to be in so I started acting like an ass to run her off. I've admitted to that a long time ago and I know she understands.
Ok so basically me and Laura had a lot of good times and a lot of bad times. The thing was that we were both perpetually horny and desperate. Put those two things into a teenager's body and guess what, I got some on the first date! After that it was more or less a relationship of convience. I don't think we ever really liked one another. Yeah sure, we were in love but when it came to actually liking one another, that's kinda iffy.
And now there's Leah who I've met in person a couple times but never lived with or even gotten a chance to spend large amounts of time alone with each other. The thing with Leah is that I love her in a way I never thought possible. In addition to that, we actually LIKE each other immensely! We will literally sit on the phone not saying a word, just doing our own thing for like a half hour at a time, just so we can be "with" each other. We have so much it's scary! I know everyone says that but our relationship is just straight up freaky when it comes to how much alike we are. *thinks to self on how to put this* Well there's no way around it, she's a horny redhead with big tits and an even bigger ass! Our sex life (what little bit we can have living 5 hours away) is sooooooooooo much better than the best wet dream I ever had of Laura. Laura was such a prude in bed where Leah will try anything once!
I guess the truth of the matter is that I'm trying to convince myself more than anything. Part of me wants Laura back, but that's also the part of me who hasn't had any attention in 2 years!!!
For those of you who don't know, Laura just disappeared one day and came back like 2 weeks later to get her stuff. She never would tell me what it was exactly that ran her off but needless to say, things were left completely unresolved. I was obsessed about losing her for a long time. I just never thought she'd leave. But she did and it fucked me up in the head for a long LONG time.
Ask yourself this. Everyone has a "Laura" in their life (i.e. someone who got away). What would you do if they came back into your life right at the time when you're not even sure how you feel about him/her. What would you do in my place? Me personally, I've got a one way ticket to the looney bin!!!
SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG, Thanks for reading though!
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