Someone help me please! I have a problem cumming when I'm not in control. If my girlfriend is using her hand or mouth or is on top doing the work, I can't cum. And let me tell you' she gives AMAZING blowjobs and handjobs. I can only cum if I am in control of me. Like if she is on top and I'm thrusting up I can or any other position, no problem. I think maybe It's a mental thing since this is my first sexual partner and I've spent my whole life jerking off. Is there any way I can overcome this? Has anyone else here eperienced this? I'm sure I'm not the only one.

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We spend all of our lives goin’ out of our minds
Lookin’ back to our birth, forward to our demise.

I have the same thing. I have only cum twice in my life from handjobs and never from blowjobs. I also find it hard to cum with a woman on top, but it's my favourite position. I think it must surely be psychological. Are you taking any medication, especially antidepressants ? SSRIs especially and other antidepressants can cause delayed ejaculation.

I'd suggest you refrain from masturbating and sex (with you in charge) for a bit and then let her try.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

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And you need to be in charge why?

If not being in control upsets you to the point of sexual lockdown, you have

some really deep talking to do with your GF to address the issue.

As you become more trusting of her, the problem should go away.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

You may be psyching yourself out. The more you worry about needing to be in charge to climax...the more likely you are to mentally and subliminally try to make that happen.

Try to relax and enjoy the experience. You're with someone you care about, that cares about you. Enjoy what's happening and orgasm whenever and however you need to. It'll cum.

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Yeah What Lil said. Quit jerking off. Women get used to their vibes the same way. You get desensitized to feelings when you do it too much.

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I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.

NEVER!!!!!

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

LMAO! Well okay then....just slack up a bit. YOU PERV!

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I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.

I think in charge is the wrong word. It's like I have to be thrusting to get off even though what she's doing feels really good. I'm not on any meds and don't do any drugs so that's not it. I think it's purely psycological. Thanks for your feedback.

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We spend all of our lives goin’ out of our minds
Lookin’ back to our birth, forward to our demise.

If that's the case, I'd say it's not really a problem...unless your sessions have time restrictions, or she's frustrated by it because she can't make you cum...you mentioned in your 1st post that she is your first partner, & if you're both relatively new at sex with a partner, I can assure you it will get better with more time & experience...in the meantime, what's wrong with both of you enjoying the prolonged pleasure?

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Scotz makes a good point - things like that don't necessarily have to be problems. I can tell you now, a goodly number a women would love to have a man who can last hours!
But I think the most important thing to remember in this sort of situation is quite easily said, not as easily done though (but important!): STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!
Too often I think we intellectualize sex. We think and worry to much. Should I have come now? Shouldn't she have come? Am I too small? Is she not wet enough? Should I go faster? Slower? Should I lick more? Should I use two fingers?
Sex is not intellectual. Sex is not a thinking sport. It's physical, it's sensual, it's one, two or more people doing stuff because it Feels Good.
And if it feels good to both of you, that's what matters - right?

Not who comes first, or how quickly you come, or anything like that.
Just enjoy it, and try as much as you can and remember everything that you like!
Good luck!
CasperTG

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You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

My Photos:
https://imgur.com/a/80hiRdm

I see no problem.... I can cum only at misionary. But love the sex othersides. U day, no problem, just enjoy it as it is

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I always wanted to fuck reality but reality always fucked me before.
Angels in America

Icant either cum with a blowjob, even though my wife gives perfect bj's. this is not a problem...

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I always wanted to fuck reality but reality always fucked me before.
Angels in America

Firstly let me say this, I have had many partner's and some give great head jobs and other's give enough head to get it up, before it's time to get down to the business. Those that give the best head, I have always cum down there throat. Nice memories. Anyway if the girl is on top the best way she can get you to cum is to tease you will she is riding. She'll know how to do it. You can also tease yourself while she is on top. Just lift her arse a bit and only keep the head in. Then fuck her just with the head. Pretty soon you'll have fireworks cumming out. Also the other way to cum really good is fucking her up the arse. It's really tight, much tighter than pussy and it feels really good. Those of us who have rode the chocolate highway know what I mean. Just remember to use lube and take your time! If you cum whilst trying to get it up there, don't worry about it. At least she can't get pregnant!!!!! I agree with the other's. Here is a quote from star wars(empire strikes back) that I think will help. It's when Yoda is instructing Luke in the ways of the force and poor ol' Luke can't get his x-wing out of the puddle.

Luke "I'll never get it out"
Yoda "so sure are you, listen not to what I say"
Luke "master moving rocks around is one thing, but this is totally different"
Yoda "No different, different only in your mind, you must unlearn what you have learned."
Now here's the punchline the one thing that you must pay attention too!
Luke "Ok I'll give it a try"
Yoda "Do or do not, there is no try."

Then of course he can't get it out and Yoda does it for him.
Luke "I don't believe it"
Yoda "That is why you fail."

Hope it helps.

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My stories
An erotic story
The instructor and student
Secretary learns how to take a dicktation
The story of sister stephanie