#1,065

Yaaaaaaah! We have the first 1,000 posts. Now we only have to do that 1,000 more times

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# 1,066

Just a little something to think about this morning.
THE COUNT?
http://www.pixies-place.com/forums/...6335#post276335
#1,034

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#1068

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#1070

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#1072

#1073 ... yippee!

#1074....... are we there yet?

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Commando

"Getting Home from Work"

Making a Cum Back

Time for a Trim.....You Think?

Another Teasing Cock Thread

*Amusing Myself*

Another New One

A Thread With no Name

hello Ladies

It's me again *wink*

Slow Ride....In the House

71/2" in Alabama

The Slow Ride is Back!

PF in the original post it say the reply number not counting the original post

#1075

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1076....

Teacher's Contract

After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said: "Let me see if I've got this right.

You want me to go into that room with all those kids and fill their
every waking moment with a love for learning.

And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity,
modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T shirt messages and dress habits.

You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem.

You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, and fair play, how and where to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.

I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, offer advice, write letters of recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage respect for the cultural diversity of others, and, oh yeah, always make sure that I give the girls in my class 50 percent of my attention.

My contract requires me to work on my own time after school and
evenings grading papers. Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my own expense, working toward advance certification and a Master's degree. And on my own time you want me to attend committee and faculty meetings, PTA meetings, and participate in staff development training.

I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such that my very
presence will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority.

And I am to pledge allegiance to family values and this current administration.

You want me to incorporate technology into the learning experience, monitor web sites, and relate personally with each student. That includes deciding who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit a crime in school.

I am to make sure all students pass the state mandatory exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments.

Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.

And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter,
telephone, newsletter, and report card.

All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few
books, a bulletin board, and a big smile AND on a starting salary
that qualifies my family for food stamps!

You want me to do all of this and you expect me NOT TO PRAY?"

1077 - I wonder what this is going to do to the server's indexing algorithm if we actually hit a million....

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-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

1078...

Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good in June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Bathing consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children, last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it hence the saying "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs "thick straw" piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence, the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance hence, a "thresh hold."


In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving left overs in the pot to get cold over night and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Some times they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon
to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with their guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the
top, or "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait to see if they would wake up, hence the custom of
holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out
in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

And that's the truth.¦ (Who said that History was boring)?

1079 -

Jenna, if I have to keep reading all the long posts, it's gonna be a while to a million... but please don't stop... this stuff is great!

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White