2790

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2791

There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished, looking for any food they could find, but to no avail. Later on, the rooster finds himself focusing upon a worm, inching its way nearby. The rooster then proceeds to chase and then pounce on the worm, eating it quickly. Resting after his meal, he rubs his belly in pure satisfaction.

The cat looks at the rooster and thinks to himself, "Well, if he can do it, I can do it." Not long after the rooster eats his worm, the cat spots a mouse scurrying nearby the lake. The cat raises its tail, arches its back, and with all its might, attempts to pounce on the mouse, only to end up in the lake.

What is the moral of the story?

Where there is a satisfied cock, there is a wet pussy...

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2792

http://www.sexthermometer.com/

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2793

Off to bed for me! Let's keep on posting, Pixies!

2794

just had to share

http://www.namethatsextoy.com/

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2795

Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2796

Q: What's the height of conceit?
A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2797

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.
Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh,... Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong,... but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes and laid down on the ground.
"Here" she said,... "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?"
"Tarzan check for bees!"

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2798

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2799

okay just one more

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2800

http://www.liamselwyn.com/nudecarro...rotwarning.html

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2799

It's about time I got the calculator out again to check how long it's going to take us to reach one million... but I can't be arsed at the moment.

__________________
Erotically yours... Gus

2802

if I stay up will have it to a million by morning LOL dang thing is addictive

__________________
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."

2802

Cabrylla, you slipped another couple in there - I think the count is right again now.

__________________
Erotically yours... Gus

2804

No? Well, perhaps it will be this time!

__________________
Erotically yours... Gus