06-29-2004, 10:29 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
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The Farmer
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.
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> So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic.
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> Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did.
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> When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member.' He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself.
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> He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line.
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> "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"
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> "Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons. Have a nice day!"
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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
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07-01-2004, 07:22 PM
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Made in England
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,180
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hahahaha......
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07-01-2004, 07:51 PM
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Just me.
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
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LOL, Irish. You've done it again!
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07-01-2004, 10:09 PM
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Huggable!
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Northeast coast, USA
Posts: 5,055
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LOL
TY Irish.
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07-02-2004, 03:42 AM
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It wasn't me!!!
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Yorkshire UK
Posts: 1,370
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He's gonna feel drained soon!
__________________
What is life?
If not an excuse for death,
and what is death,
if not an escape from life?
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07-02-2004, 01:01 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,686
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BTW, Irish,
You know how a farmer finds sheep in long grass?
Absolutely marvellous, thank you.
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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
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07-02-2004, 01:29 PM
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Jumpin' Jelly Bean
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: England
Posts: 954
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Two Gallons. HA! That'd take me a year or two. Oops...
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07-02-2004, 01:39 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
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I don't care,how long it takes.I'm STILL enjoying the milking
machine. Irish
__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
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07-02-2004, 01:43 PM
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Jumpin' Jelly Bean
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: England
Posts: 954
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LOL, I can see it now. Mrs W.I sitting next to him on a chair whilst he's stuck fast into the machine, and Mrs W.I getting horny and wanting some of it.
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07-02-2004, 01:59 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
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Ryan---It's easy to mix us up.W.I. is Wild Irish.I'm Irish.The only commonality,that I know of,is that we're both from Conn. Irish
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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
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07-02-2004, 03:46 PM
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~Imaginary lover~
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 9,432
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OMG Irish !!!!!!!! I know a guy that this actually happened to. His dad owns a dairy here and this happend like 25 years ago. He stuck his pecker in there and it wouldn't let go. They heard him screaming for help and they had to shut the power down to release him. It was a big laugh in school. He to this day has the nickname of "milk".
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I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.
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07-02-2004, 03:48 PM
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yada, yada, yada
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 2,805
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OMFG!!! ^^^ Now that is funny!!!!
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07-02-2004, 04:05 PM
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Jumpin' Jelly Bean
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: England
Posts: 954
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irish
Ryan---It's easy to mix us up.W.I. is Wild Irish.I'm Irish.The only commonality,that I know of,is that we're both from Conn. Irish
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Soz bud.
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07-02-2004, 06:39 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 541,353
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Irish,
Good one!
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Eudaimonia
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07-02-2004, 06:40 PM
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Stiff Member
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thousand Oaks, CA
Posts: 11,064
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So what was the problem?
__________________
Lots of people talk and few of them know, soul of a woman was created below
I can't get through to her 'cause it doesn't permit
But I'm gonna give her everything I've got to give.
I hear your sweet voice calling
out my name
As I stare from a six foot cell
And from beyond I heard the words
Deceptively Yours
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