SNAPPY ANSWERS to DUMB QUESTIONS
 

Idea of this game is for you to ask a "dumb" question ... and the next person posts a snappy (sarcastic?) answer. Then, after you answer, you ask the next 'dumb question' for the next person. For example:

A guy is walking down the street and sees another coming his way. "Hi, out for a walk?"

The next person posting might answer:

"Nah. Just trying to see how many steps it takes to wear out the soles of my shoes."

Now ... your turn.

A lady comes into the office at 10AM and sees her boss. She asks, "Am I late?".

The boss answers, " ... "

No, we readjusted the time frame of the entire universe so you'd be on time.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Thank heavens that's out of your system now. Glad you didn't ask for two.

I see you got out your spreader and fertilizer. Are you getting ready to do some yard work?

That is a brilliant deduction Einstein!


Those are nice flowers. Did you buy them for you wife?

No, I got them to help decorate the garbage can and make it smell better.

Hey, neighbor, taking your dog for a walk?

Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?


Where are you going with that picnic basket?



(this game is making me feel bad)

Hop in, I'll explain why it's getting warmer.

(after seeing someone stub his/her toe):
Did you do that deliberately?

Yes, it's such a nice way to get attention.

Is that the sun shining this morning?

No, we surgically implanted LEDs in your eyelids while you were sleeping.

(From a person just barely not falling-down drunk):
Should I have one more for the road?

Absolutely. Roads get thirsty this time of day.

Seeing a neighbor at the gas station, he asked, "Going somewhere?"

No. I'm already here.


Walking in and sitting down at the bar when the barkeep walk over and asks "Do you want a drink?"

No, I'm a priest. I'm waiting for a minister and a rabbi to join me.

And actual question I was asked when I was helping staff a wildlife education display:

"Does that owl, have like, *feathers* ?"

I would loved to have had a snappy answer, but I couldn't, because I had to run behind the display, because you're not allowed to laugh in the public's face.

I asked one once but he wouldn't answer. In fact, he seemed to think the whole question was a real "hoot" and said as much.

Is that an ant hill forming in that crack in the sidewalk?

No, it a new volcano forming...


I see your house is for sale. Are you moving?

No, the sign is just there to fool people.

Oh, I see you've intently watching whatever is on TV, do you mind if I interrupt you and tell you about my day at the office?

Oh, I don't mind at all, could you just defenestrate yourself from the 18th floor first?

As you are getting on a hat, scarf & gloves in the middle of winter:
"Are you going out?"

No, I just wanted to get overheated.

As you go up to the store cashier with a full shopping cart she asks:

"Did you find everything you wanted?"

You answer:

"No, so I just put a bunch of stuff in the cart I didn't want so I could return it all as soon as I finish purchasing it."

"Did you forget to ask a question ?"

No, he wrote it with disappearing ink. :wink:



While I was standing on a ladder with a roller in hand she walked across the drop cloth and asked "are you painting today?"

No, I needed new carpet but it's so expensive and so I'm using a drop cloth to cover the old floor and the roller to smooth it out.

Seeing a lady walking with her dog on a leash, "Walking your dog, mamm?"

No, I left my dog at home while I kidnapped this one from my neighbor down the street.


Upon smelling & seeing smoke coming out of th toaster:
Hey, did you burn your toast?

No, the bread is taking revenge on the toaster and frying it's heating elements.

You see your neighbor walking their dog and ask, "Taking your dog for a walk?"

No, I'm bringing my cat home from his species-change operation.

Someone sees you changing a tire & asks, "Have a flat tire?"

(BTW, I used to love these in Mad Magazine...Al Jaffee was a comic genius)

no, the tires are dirty and it's time to change them



Even though your feeling fine someone asks....why do you look so unhappy?

I'm not unhappy, I'm just smiling upside down.

Carrying your umbrella on a dark and cloudy day someone asks, "Is it suppose to rain?"

No, but I'm carrying my sword umbrella because my sword cane is int he shop.

Asking of several people at a single-route bus stop:
"Has the bus come yet?"

No, but it's breathing heavy!


Why is there steam coming out of the sewers?

It's trying to get away from the awful smell (sorry, that's all I got...kind of odd question)

You walk in, dripping wet, & someone says, "Is it raining outside?"

No, I'm just perspiring a lot.

You've in a restaurant and the waitress/waiter comes to your table and asks, "May I take your order?"

Yes. 'Paint my house' :D ............... or bring me a hamburger & chocolate shake. ;)



Someone walks into the room while you are sitting in front of the keyboard and looking at the monitor- "Are you on that computer again?"

No, this is just a convenient place to meditate with my eyes open.

Another actual question, asked of someone sitting in a Panera Bread internet lounge with an electric blanket:
"Is it cold in here?"

is it odd or is your imagination lacking for the question lol

Going back to our last question, "On the computer again?"

A: Heck no. It's not even real comfortable here on this chair.

Q: Looking at cameras in a case, the clerk asks: Can I get anything for you?

Yes, you can get naked so I can take your picture with one of these cameras.

After falling down, smacking your face ont he pavement and giving yourself a bloody nose:
"Are you all right?"

No, I have an itch on my left foot.

Q: Seeing you get out of a shiny new car with dealer plates, your asked, "Thinking of getting a new car?"

Yep, my mind is so powerful, I thought this one right into existence in my driveway!

I had no shoes and I wept. Then I met a man with no feet. So I said, "Hey, man, got any shoes you're not using?"

No, my dog always uses my old shoes as chew toys once I tire of them.

Can you believe at 3 in the morning it's still dark outside?

Yes, unless my bed slid to the south pole during the night. :rolleyes:


While sitting on a bench at dusk and staring out over the lake someone asks "watching the sun set?".

Nah, I've seen my son sit many times. Nothing new in that.

Seeing the person staring at the television set he asked, "Whatcha' watching?"

Nothing, I was just waiting for a power failure and didn't want to miss it.

Running the vacuum in the living room, your SO/spouse asks: "Doing some cleaning?"