Oh, I don't mind at all, could you just defenestrate yourself from the 18th floor first?

As you are getting on a hat, scarf & gloves in the middle of winter:
"Are you going out?"

No, I just wanted to get overheated.

As you go up to the store cashier with a full shopping cart she asks:

"Did you find everything you wanted?"

You answer:

"No, so I just put a bunch of stuff in the cart I didn't want so I could return it all as soon as I finish purchasing it."

"Did you forget to ask a question ?"

No, he wrote it with disappearing ink. :wink:



While I was standing on a ladder with a roller in hand she walked across the drop cloth and asked "are you painting today?"

No, I needed new carpet but it's so expensive and so I'm using a drop cloth to cover the old floor and the roller to smooth it out.

Seeing a lady walking with her dog on a leash, "Walking your dog, mamm?"

No, I left my dog at home while I kidnapped this one from my neighbor down the street.


Upon smelling & seeing smoke coming out of th toaster:
Hey, did you burn your toast?

No, the bread is taking revenge on the toaster and frying it's heating elements.

You see your neighbor walking their dog and ask, "Taking your dog for a walk?"

No, I'm bringing my cat home from his species-change operation.

Someone sees you changing a tire & asks, "Have a flat tire?"

(BTW, I used to love these in Mad Magazine...Al Jaffee was a comic genius)

no, the tires are dirty and it's time to change them



Even though your feeling fine someone asks....why do you look so unhappy?

I'm not unhappy, I'm just smiling upside down.

Carrying your umbrella on a dark and cloudy day someone asks, "Is it suppose to rain?"

No, but I'm carrying my sword umbrella because my sword cane is int he shop.

Asking of several people at a single-route bus stop:
"Has the bus come yet?"

No, but it's breathing heavy!


Why is there steam coming out of the sewers?

It's trying to get away from the awful smell (sorry, that's all I got...kind of odd question)

You walk in, dripping wet, & someone says, "Is it raining outside?"

No, I'm just perspiring a lot.

You've in a restaurant and the waitress/waiter comes to your table and asks, "May I take your order?"

Yes. 'Paint my house' :D ............... or bring me a hamburger & chocolate shake. ;)



Someone walks into the room while you are sitting in front of the keyboard and looking at the monitor- "Are you on that computer again?"