Can't Cum...
 

Someone help me please! I have a problem cumming when I'm not in control. If my girlfriend is using her hand or mouth or is on top doing the work, I can't cum. And let me tell you' she gives AMAZING blowjobs and handjobs. I can only cum if I am in control of me. Like if she is on top and I'm thrusting up I can or any other position, no problem. I think maybe It's a mental thing since this is my first sexual partner and I've spent my whole life jerking off. Is there any way I can overcome this? Has anyone else here eperienced this? I'm sure I'm not the only one.

I have the same thing. I have only cum twice in my life from handjobs and never from blowjobs. I also find it hard to cum with a woman on top, but it's my favourite position. I think it must surely be psychological. Are you taking any medication, especially antidepressants ? SSRIs especially and other antidepressants can cause delayed ejaculation.

I'd suggest you refrain from masturbating and sex (with you in charge) for a bit and then let her try.

And you need to be in charge why?

If not being in control upsets you to the point of sexual lockdown, you have

some really deep talking to do with your GF to address the issue.

As you become more trusting of her, the problem should go away.

You may be psyching yourself out. The more you worry about needing to be in charge to climax...the more likely you are to mentally and subliminally try to make that happen.

Try to relax and enjoy the experience. You're with someone you care about, that cares about you. Enjoy what's happening and orgasm whenever and however you need to. It'll cum. :D

Yeah What Lil said. Quit jerking off. Women get used to their vibes the same way. You get desensitized to feelings when you do it too much.

NEVER!!!!! :D

LMAO! Well okay then....just slack up a bit. :p YOU PERV!

I think in charge is the wrong word. It's like I have to be thrusting to get off even though what she's doing feels really good. I'm not on any meds and don't do any drugs so that's not it. I think it's purely psycological. Thanks for your feedback.

If that's the case, I'd say it's not really a problem...unless your sessions have time restrictions, or she's frustrated by it because she can't make you cum...you mentioned in your 1st post that she is your first partner, & if you're both relatively new at sex with a partner, I can assure you it will get better with more time & experience...in the meantime, what's wrong with both of you enjoying the prolonged pleasure? ;)

Scotz makes a good point - things like that don't necessarily have to be problems. I can tell you now, a goodly number a women would love to have a man who can last hours!
But I think the most important thing to remember in this sort of situation is quite easily said, not as easily done though (but important!): STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!
Too often I think we intellectualize sex. We think and worry to much. Should I have come now? Shouldn't she have come? Am I too small? Is she not wet enough? Should I go faster? Slower? Should I lick more? Should I use two fingers?
Sex is not intellectual. Sex is not a thinking sport. It's physical, it's sensual, it's one, two or more people doing stuff because it Feels Good.
And if it feels good to both of you, that's what matters - right?

Not who comes first, or how quickly you come, or anything like that.
Just enjoy it, and try as much as you can and remember everything that you like!
Good luck!
CasperTG

I see no problem.... I can cum only at misionary. But love the sex othersides. U day, no problem, just enjoy it as it is

Icant either cum with a blowjob, even though my wife gives perfect bj's. this is not a problem...

Dude,relax
 

Firstly let me say this, I have had many partner's and some give great head jobs and other's give enough head to get it up, before it's time to get down to the business. Those that give the best head, I have always cum down there throat. Nice memories. Anyway if the girl is on top the best way she can get you to cum is to tease you will she is riding. She'll know how to do it. You can also tease yourself while she is on top. Just lift her arse a bit and only keep the head in. Then fuck her just with the head. Pretty soon you'll have fireworks cumming out. Also the other way to cum really good is fucking her up the arse. It's really tight, much tighter than pussy and it feels really good. Those of us who have rode the chocolate highway know what I mean. Just remember to use lube and take your time! If you cum whilst trying to get it up there, don't worry about it. At least she can't get pregnant!!!!! I agree with the other's. Here is a quote from star wars(empire strikes back) that I think will help. It's when Yoda is instructing Luke in the ways of the force and poor ol' Luke can't get his x-wing out of the puddle.

Luke "I'll never get it out"
Yoda "so sure are you, listen not to what I say"
Luke "master moving rocks around is one thing, but this is totally different"
Yoda "No different, different only in your mind, you must unlearn what you have learned."
Now here's the punchline the one thing that you must pay attention too!
Luke "Ok I'll give it a try"
Yoda "Do or do not, there is no try."

Then of course he can't get it out and Yoda does it for him.
Luke "I don't believe it"
Yoda "That is why you fail."

Hope it helps.